No relationship will thrive and become successful if one is always doubtful of the other’s words, feelings, and actions. Having the so-called benefit of the doubt mentality can greatly help in changing the flow of your relationship to the best direction.
“Love chooses to believe the best about people. It gives them the benefit of the doubt. It refuses to fill in the unknowns with negative assumptions. And when our worst hopes are proven to be true, love makes every effort to deal with them and move forward. As much as possible, love focuses on the positive.”
Stephen Kendrick, The Love Dare
Give Your Partner the Benefit of the Doubt
Have you ever done some stupid, dumb or hurtful things which greatly affected your partner? Chances are almost all persons in this world have unintentionally or intentionally hurt someone they love. In fact, research showed that a lot of people will do anything hurtful to their partner in all long term relationships.
All relationships are bound to experience their own share of conflicts. Whether it is confusion, misunderstandings or disagreements, if you known and have been someone pretty long enough, eventually, something will take place that will result to tension. People will make you feel frustrated, angry, disappointed, hurt, or upset. Your partner is human, just like you, so there is actually no way to get around this. Once such situations happen, will you respond with anger or will you give your partner the benefit of the doubt?
When you give another person the benefit of the doubt, it only means that when you still lack all the needed information, even in times of conflict, you will still be willing to assume the best, set aside the negative judgment and respond in a favorable way. Love itself can give the benefit of the doubt. It will not make the mind filled with the negative assumptions. It will seek to work its way around the difficult situations even after being proven wrong or getting disappointed.
As stated on the Bible, love is something that “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” Love is not naïve and instead, it gives the benefit of the doubt. Love chooses to see the best in other people. You do not just give this kind of benefit simply because you want to. More importantly, you give your partner the benefit of the doubt because you choose to and because you love. This act is selfless. So, how will you successfully give your partner the benefit of the doubt?
Knowing how to love someone is the key here. You simply cannot expect one person to completely accept you for who you are and then expect perfection from them. This love is not unconditional. Conditional loving is based in selfishness, something that will not let you give a person the benefit of the doubt.
Patience is needed when looking for the truth and trying to resolve conflict. Jumping to conclusions is not part of giving benefit of the doubt.
It is important to try putting yourself in the shoes of the other person. For all you know, they are probably afraid of being themselves to due rejection, abandonment or any other issues. Just assume that your partner has tried to be truthful and grow with you before working with them towards it.
The last but definitely not the least thing that you need is to learn to forgive and forget. Never let yourself dwell in bitterness. When you finally let your initial anger go, let it stay in the past and do not let it cloud your mind over again.
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